Zombies

Here’s wishing everyone a good time today, but remember that even though zombies can be fun, they can also be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing. So they can be very scary and make you pee on yourself, and if you do, you better go to the urologist to check what is going on. Always have an adult present when attempting to raise the dead, in case something goes wrong and instead of a harmless dancing skeleton you accidentally summon up a horde of terrifying revenants bent on consuming the life force of all humanity. Please be courteous to others and always dispel your zombies when you’re done with them. It only takes a few moments to clean up your mess by filling the mouth with salt and sewing it shut, then cutting off the head before disposing of your zombie safely in an approved container.